"I wish it was that simple," Beau muttered, pouring more ale into her tankard. A bit sloshed over the rim as there was an uncharacteristic unsteadiness in the monk's hands that had nothing to do with the booze she'd been drinking.
"It doesn't even bother me that some magic charm effect forced my sex drive through the roof. It's... it's... how I fucked her... w-what I did in the middle of it that's the issue," she said, stumbling through the words, muscled tensing and her eyes once more focused on the blanket instead of Eliot. "I'm not okay with this... not okay with me and this is going to screw with my relationship, with my woman, if I can't figure out how to deal with it. It's already screwing with our-- fuck, Eliot, I'm scared that I might do the same thing to her. I... can't talk to Glinda about it, cause I don't want her to look at me differently."
A shaky breath was taken in and Beau threw back the tankard, literally draining it sloppily in one go. Empty tankard dropped onto the blanket, Beau put her face in her hands and rubbed it a couple times. "I... uh..." Just say it, you fucking asshole. Say it. Fucking say it, she told herself, though putting it to voice was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
"I... ripped her shirt open and... and then later... in the middle of-- I..." Her shoulders hunched forward as though bracing for an expected blow, a subconcious show of utter shame. "I punched her in the face. In anger. In retaliation. To hurt her." Then Beau's voice broke on her next words. "And it felt good to me."
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rosecarmine
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Date: 2018-12-02 01:43 am (UTC)"It doesn't even bother me that some magic charm effect forced my sex drive through the roof. It's... it's... how I fucked her... w-what I did in the middle of it that's the issue," she said, stumbling through the words, muscled tensing and her eyes once more focused on the blanket instead of Eliot. "I'm not okay with this... not okay with me and this is going to screw with my relationship, with my woman, if I can't figure out how to deal with it. It's already screwing with our-- fuck, Eliot, I'm scared that I might do the same thing to her. I... can't talk to Glinda about it, cause I don't want her to look at me differently."
A shaky breath was taken in and Beau threw back the tankard, literally draining it sloppily in one go. Empty tankard dropped onto the blanket, Beau put her face in her hands and rubbed it a couple times. "I... uh..." Just say it, you fucking asshole. Say it. Fucking say it, she told herself, though putting it to voice was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
"I... ripped her shirt open and... and then later... in the middle of-- I..." Her shoulders hunched forward as though bracing for an expected blow, a subconcious show of utter shame. "I punched her in the face. In anger. In retaliation. To hurt her." Then Beau's voice broke on her next words. "And it felt good to me."